Love In A Lustful Society: How Did Society Revolutionize Love

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“I love you.”

The most frequently used phrase in America next to “F*** you.” But Love is a controversial subject in this society, especially now with the recent debates about gender and homosexual marriages. Not only is it controversial, but love is also unique in our society. My goal is to discuss as much as I can, starting with the birth of the modern love.

How Did Society Revolutionize Love?

“Starry-eyed love” is not an ancient concept, but a modern creation of modern society. Up until the 19th century, romance wasn’t even an expression in their terminology, implying they did not quite perceive or translate affection as we do. Throughout the 19th century innocent people were persecuted for partaking in romantic adventures and were not permitted to select their significant other. Some people were hung for loving someone they selected, and others were stoned. Matrimonies were arranged by parents depending on how beneficial it is to them. A prince would marry a princess to connect two kingdoms, an aristocrat’s daughter would marry the son of another to bring together the family’s prosperity. You dwelt within your class, meaning rich stayed away from the poor. A notable example of this would be in the movie Aladdin. Families and society followed a different set of rules in that time. Love existed, but was frowned upon. So how has modern society changed that?

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Well during the 1800s love started to shape into a controversial view of “romance.” The clichés movie scene of passionately kissing in the prolonged rain or standing outside with a boom box were being born. Before this time, society did not approve of love, and amorousness did not exist. Along with the modern concept of love and romance becoming frequent, advanced the idea of falling in love with whom you chose to. Popularity with this, killed marriages that typically followed economical calculations, and birthed marriages that derived from emotional (and in this society, sexual) attraction. Modern society has strayed away from the standard practice of arranged unions, unto the practice of free will marriages.

That at least what we tell ourselves, but did we actually shift away from society choosing who we marry? Hell no. In a way, society still continues to choose who others marry or at least they try. Your mother, your father, your friends, and all of society will pressure you if you’re not dating the person they view best. If people are not dating who society wants them to or think they should, then they’ll have no trouble pushing them to leave that person. Whether you have discovered the one or not, society doesn’t care! As I said society doesn’t give a damn about you or what you want. Some call it Free-love, others call it freedom of choosing whom to love. The point is that love of your choosing is limited in today’s society.

It Just is.

Free love is an idea fashioned by the mouths of many in hopes it comes true. For example, Julia (my girlfriend) has a friend wants to wed a colored man. Her grandmother on the other hand believes that interracial marriages should not be permissible. The consequences of her marrying a colored man would result in her being disowned. If you brought home a guy your mother or father didn’t like, then your parents would instruct you to avoid him. If your friends didn’t approve of him, they would depreciate you. Ultimately society will pressure you for adoring someone they can’t comprehend you with. Why? Because we’re selfish and try to make everything about us.

So where did this concept of Romance come from? Over the years, as society aged and became more compound, complications were produced with our magnitude. The resolution to these problems fashioned ideas we now know as modern science, a mass media society, and the idea romantic love. One of the main problems that provoked the creation of romance was the advancements of women’s rights. Women, up until the 19th century, didn’t get a say in who they could and couldn’t court. The women were basically servants that had a sexual plus, they were just servants with benefits. Men came home to wives and told them what to do, what to wear, had sex with them whenever and managed their life’s. Women desire what so many others desire today, egalitarianism in a relationship. They were fed-up of being told what to do without the tongue to express their opinion and rightfully so. What if you dated someone who didn’t care about your opinions and consistently treated you like a thing instead of a person? You would leave. Women were tired of being in totalitarianism, and as time progressed women demanded more out of the men they were forced to marry, initiating women’s right moments. Their ultimate goal was to have the opportunity of marrying whomever they wanted, despite their family monetary gain.

Therefore, love is not a common experience that has existed throughout the human life. We believe that romance has been around for a while because our movies, our songs, and our books all portray modern love.

How Does Society View Love?

This society displays many various elucidations of how to date and love, purely because we encompass countless different people with who arise from numerous cultures. With diversity in our society comes different sets of ethical rules that have molded to one. Taking views society viewed best from each culture over the course of the last 100 years. We have formed our own rule book on dating, marriage and relationships in general compared to other countries. There are still countries that support, and practice arranged marriages. It’s only this culture and other modern cultures that have begun “Free love.” In this society people can determine who to date base on religion, love, how much money they have, and much more. With that being said, in today’s society, more people will marry for convenience rather than love. A foolish woman may marry a man for his money, power, or just how they look. A wicked man may marry a woman for their body (and sadly, that its).

As society has evolved from arranged marriages to romance, we now advance from romance to convenience.

I’m going to touch base on how Christianity in modern society and the general society views love.

Christianity

When discussing Christianity’s outlook on dating and love, there was no one more capable and willing to ask then my kind friend Ezra. He Is (hands down) one of the finest worship leaders I know and I’m appreciative I had the opportunity to talk to him and obtain his view on the matter. Ezra and I believe that the world has taken something untainted and innocent from God and distorted it just ever so slightly, so it is tempting to Christians who are weaker in their faith. This variation will cause them to be led astray or down the wrong path. Or sinful enough that someone whose heart is not totally on God will pounce on it. I have never agreed more with something in my life. There’s so much in the western society that isn’t talked about in the bible. There not even a remark of dating (which derived from our culture).

There is so much going on in modern society (including how we date) that isn’t talk about in the bible. Younger Christians are having to discover their way in a maze without direct answers, which could cause them to be led astray. With a society based on hooking up, oral sex before marriage doesn’t sound that detrimental. So many Christians are telling themselves it ok because “were not having sex” or “we’re dating.” We are flesh and were made to possess erotic desires, but those desires are meant for marriage. We were fashioned to want to love and experience pure sex. But we have begun to alter the order in which we achieve that. “Oh, Johnny and I are getting married so it’s okay.” No, it’s not. It was made for marriage, but we tell ourselves that dating’s just as good. We provide the excuse of the bible doesn’t mention anything to make ourselves feel better, because deep down we know we shouldn’t.

So, Christians, what do you do if you find yourself falling for a person who’s not a believer? My ex-girlfriend was not a Christian and for some time I tried not to date her. One day I decided to undertake it, maybe I can convince her to come to God, my flesh convinced me that eventually she’ll come around. Sometime into the relationship (about 7 months), she still hasn’t come around. At this point I’ve started to doubt myself. I started to wonder if the fundamental differences in our ultimate goals and priories won’t ever collide. One of the most fundamental issues between believers’ non-believers is the issue of sex before marriage.

In a modern society of casual sex, not many people are typically wanting to wait making it very difficult for someone who is committed to saving themselves. Sex can come as easy as swiping left or right on your phone. Even if you’re not hooking up, sex during dating is not uncommon in couples these days. While dating in today’s society can be hard for a Christian, it does have some perks. One perk is its easier for a Christian to find love. With many people like-minded at churches and church unions, we don’t have to look far. In a society of needing to have a boyfriend and girlfriend and constant sex to be successful, it’s a refreshing view.

General Public

The general public interpretation of love is every which way. With a society that no longer associates love with solidarity but with eroticism and passion. Eros is love that the Greeks believed to be dangerous and due to the loss of control, thanks to primal impulse to procreate. Our society adheres to an inaccurate view of love. Love derives from a Greek word “philos”, it designated a relationship of closeness between two people. In our society love is perceived as being “romance”, which can lead to relationship problems; and because the idea of romance doesn’t match what people have pictured it as, which could be leading to failed marriages and relationships.

Truth is, there is no knight in shining armor to live happily ever after with. It’s sad but true. In real life, you don’t look at someone and fall in love instantly (that’s called lust). Relationships naturally contain ups and downs; relationships are difficult and require sacrifices on both sides. Sorry but this not a Disney movie where you save you girl and then get married. You’re not going to have a relationship free of problems. Relationships are not perfect, but that’s what society idealize.

About eight months ago my friend got dumped by his girlfriend. I naturally wanted to be there for him, so we went out for some burgers (my second favorite food). After a little pestering and buying him lunch he finally told me what happened. He said that she wasn’t content with the way he had been treated her. She had told him that they should argue over things, because it’s not healthy. She said they shouldn’t ever be upset at one another and shouldn’t be having problems if they were in love. All I could say was couples that are meant to be are the ones that make it through everything that’s meant to tear them apart. And then they come out stronger. Someone has given people a false idea of romance and expectations.

*cough Dis *cough ney

With a society that is drawn to short-term relationships, people don’t realize problems are a part of long-term love. With so much “erotic” love going around, the idea of enduring love (deriving from the Greek word pragma) is exceedingly rare. Pragma is found in couples who have been married for a while. With so many people spending time and energy trying to find love, they don’t spend enough time maintaining what they possess. Inadvertently causing a shortage in long-term relationships in society.

How Does Society Treat Relationships?

Dating can be a difficult task in today’s society whether your younger or older. With pressure from friends to co-workers and even family dating can be overwhelming. Society has begun handling relationships like a social game. People are courting for statues amongst their peers, and competing for fake love. That’s the main reason why high school relationships don’t work out. It’s not because there young, it’s because they aren’t ready for commitment and they don’t know what they want. They’re frightened by the idea of spending there next 60-70 years with this one person, who is still changing by the way. Not all, but 90% of people are not ready for a lifetime marriage at the age of 15, 16, even people who are 26 aren’t ready.

Then why are young people dating? Because of ignorance, they believe that they are grown. There believe their “old enough”. They want the new phones, they want cars, they want to drink alcohol, they want to smoke, they want to have sex. So many people are in relationships and losing their virginity at early age because they can’t control their little wee wees. Its honestly sad.

When I was 14, I was more concerned with being home before the street light came on rather than getting an e-vape. I was focused on asking a girl to a dance rather than trying to have sex with her. Teens use to look and act like teens, now they want to be grown and there trying to act grown.

14-year old are saying “I need a man who can this and that.” No, you need to do your friggen homework

The other day I was in the avenue reading “The Shelter of Each Other” by Mary piper (great book) and I saw a group of kids. The group look like they were in middle school, it consisted of 7 girls and one boy. This boy and girl were breaking away from the group to get “alone” time. In the backing the rest of their group was yelling “kiss! Kiss! Kiss!”. This just bewilders me, that teens pressure “friends” into an idea that was meant for love. All for a little gossip and entertainment. You’re probably thinking this book is supposed to be about society not kids, and your right it is about society. The younger generation is a reflection of the society they live in.

I believe a girlfriend should be a potential wife, and a boyfriend should be a future husband. Relationships are investments, but society has begun treating them like hobbies. We no longer get in relationships because we love someone, we have begun dating for the status quo. In a competition with their peers they compete for the crown of fools. We live in a society that considers it cool to have one-night stands and constantly be in a relationship, but it’s not. its immature and a childish move.

We have begun to tell people that when you’re not dating someone, you’re not cool or your lonely. Again, that’s not true. Me, I love being in a relationship just as much as I love being alone. I love my girlfriend, but

Being alone is addicting. I love sitting on my couch and minding my business. I love drinking tea and watching waves flow and life go by. Its peaceful and calming.

Many people date because there fearful to be unaided. Their scared of judgment from family and friends, there scared of being alone for the rest of their life’s. Society puts too much pressure on relationships. I reached out to and old friend of mine, Samantha. Her and I talked and came to realize that society rushes relationships. They were once a time where you could go out and be talking. You could take a girl to prom and not be dating, but now if you do that you automatically in a relationship. Society wants to skip the intimacy of being friends and building a foundation with each other. Why are we rushing relationships?

Society is full of many people who date because they are lost. From the Greek word “philautia” comes self -love. What is the art of self-love? Self is love is taking care of yourself and not sacrificing your needs for someone else wellbeing. Self-love is crucial to everyone’s wellbeing; without it we would lose the ability to give love. All love created comes from you taking care of yourself. You can’t help someone love themselves if your health isn’t where it needs to be. There’s nothing wrong with loving yourself and taking care of your mental health. But, in this society people are no longer practicing self-love, but narcissism. We have been effected with the “Kardashian Effect” and our social media based society has blurred the lines between Self-love and selfishness. Self-love does not come at the expense of empathy. Society is full of people who need others to validate their “coolness”. Its full of people who need constant assurance from others because they don’t feel worthy, loved or needed. People have started to put their identity in jewelry, clothes, and attractive romantic partners. People with heathy self-love are guided by their own internal values and act in ways that are consistent with those values.

Different Standards for Different Sexes

In a society full of hypocrites, there are a lot of talks about different standards for different sexes. Topics such as equal pay and equal rights are very popular, but we rarely ever hear talks on topics such as dating and sex.

In our society its considered cool for a guy to have sex with 7 different women, but it’s considered wrong if a girl does? Is our society really this hypocritical and unfair? A guy in college can hook up with 4 different women over the course of 4 days, and brag to his friends. Then, soon enough, most of the guys at that school would “respect” and congratulate him. He would earn a title and a reputation that would perceive him. They desire to feel popular and loved by many. The guys who do this have no substance and will fall to society’s rule when we overthrow the natural kindom.

Now if a girl had sex with 4 different guys, then it’s a completely different story. She wouldn’t be bragging to her friends at all. She would be keeping it a secret but when the rumors start to flow and someone finds out the whole school would bash her. They would call her names such as slut, prostitute, or hoe, eventually degrading her view of herself worth. Why would we praise one gender for something, and then look down on the other.

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